"Nothing seems to matter anymore"

"Nothing seems to matter anymore"

"Nothing Seems to Matter Anymore"
One woman's reponse after having an abortion - by Jenny Farrell

Some time ago I met with a beautiful young woman who came in for a pregnancy test. As we sat together, she began to share her story. A few years earlier, she discovered that she was pregnant. Immediately she began thinking abortion was the answer.

No one had pressured her. In fact, no one even knew about her pregnancy. The biggest obstacle to having a child was the fact that she had recently been accepted to graduate school. This had been a dream for her for as long as she could remember, and she would not let anything stand in her way - including a baby.

So she contacted an abortion clinic in a different city and had the procedure in secret. Although she admitted to having a few physical side effects, it was the emotional response that was so devastating. Her co-worker’s wife was pregnant, and she had almost the identical due date. Whenever the woman dropped by to “show off” her baby, it was like a knife went through her.

When she began attending school as planned, she found it difficult to connect with anyone. Keeping mainly to herself, she tried to focus on doing her absolute best. Yet although she was as the top of her class, somehow it seemed so pointless.

As she continued to talk, I noticed a phrase that she used frequently: “It doesn’t matter.” I called this to her attention, and asked her if anything mattered to her. She quickly said “no.” Nothing seemed to matter at all.

She couldn’t seem to laugh or cry anymore, and when she was alone on the weekends, she would drink to the point of passing out - anything to stop the memories from overtaking her. This precious woman told me that she wished she had come here before making such a devastating decision. Although I shared with her about our post-abortion healing groups, she has not had the courage to take that step yet.

The fact that this woman was able to tell someone her story, without receiving condemnation, was an important step towards healing. As she allowed me to pray for her, I know that the Holy Spirit was ministering.

Would you lift her up in your prayers? Only the love of Jesus Christ can breakthrough her darkness and pain, and free her from her prison of guilt and shame.